That Confused Look on Your Child’s Face
Have you noticed your child’s puzzled expression when they can’t fit the red ring into the stacking tower—despite easily fitting the blue and green ones?
At that moment, you face two choices:
- Rush to your child’s side and solve the problem for them, fitting the rings into place.
- Step back and let them struggle, lifting one ring after another, trying and failing from your point of view.
Your Choice Shapes Their Skills
Yes—your decision in this moment will shape your child’s thinking skills. Even though they are still very young, these early experiences will influence how they handle challenges later in life.
If you choose the first option and solve the problem for them, you’ve taken away a golden opportunity for your child to develop two of the most important life skills: thinking and problem-solving.
By jumping in too quickly, you risk raising a child who becomes dependent, impatient, and easily discouraged—believing there’s always a quicker way instead of persevering. Over time, this can weaken not only their problem-solving mindset but also their motor skills, since they spend less time handling objects. Most importantly, they lose the positive feeling of achievement.
But if you choose the second option—allowing them to try and try again—you’ve just placed your child on the very first step of the five essential stages that build problem-solving and critical thinking skills.
“He’s Still So Small…”
Yes, that’s what you might keep telling yourself. But research shows that even babies and toddlers have powerful thinking abilities waiting to be nurtured. Just like muscles, their brains need exercise. That’s why independent play and exploration are essential.
So instead of solving the puzzle for your child, what if you helped them in a different way?
The Power of Words: Vocabulary That Builds Thinking
One of the most effective ways to guide a child without taking over is to use thinking words. For example, look at the ring in your child’s hand and ask:
- “What color is this ring?”
- “Is it big or small?”
- “Is the blue ring bigger or smaller?”
These simple questions activate your child’s logical reasoning. They pause, think, and then try again—with greater awareness.
As your child grows older, you can gradually introduce mental verbs—words that describe more complex thinking processes such as guess, remember, believe, imagine. Studies show that when children hear and use these words in stories, their ability to analyze and interpret situations deepens.
For instance, in one study, children listened to a story about two squirrels—one hiding a nut and the other searching for it. With the help of mental verbs, children went beyond retelling events. They explained motives, guessed intentions, and even imagined alternative scenarios. The lesson? Children are natural thinkers when given the right tools.
The 5T Steps for Problem-Solving
- Target – identify the problem (حدد)
First, your child learns to spot what’s wrong and focus on the real issue. - Think – generate ideas (حل)
They brainstorm possible solutions, even creative or silly ones. - Test – examine the options (حلّل)
They try to reason through each choice, weighing what could work. - Transform – choose and adapt (حوّل)
They turn ideas into a workable plan, often by asking “What if…?” - Try – take action (حاول)
Finally, they test their chosen solution, learning from success or mistakes.
Problem-Solving in Everyday Life
Of course, not every solution will look like the one you had in mind. Sometimes your child may approach it “the long way around,” like Joha in the famous folktale who touched his left ear with his right hand. But that’s the point—the value is not in doing it your way, but in letting them think, analyze, and solve.
Children’s books illustrate this beautifully:
- In “Shetla”, the orangutan character invents creative solutions when she can’t find her birthday hat, turning it into something completely new.
- In “In the Box Is a Gift”, children solve riddles by using logic and touch to discover hidden toys.
- In “My Gloves”, gloves transform into a peacock or a crab, teaching kids to see objects from new perspectives.
These stories model problem-solving and imaginative thinking in ways children can relate to.
From Boxes to Circles: Overcoming Imaginary Problems
Sometimes children create problems in their minds, like the ant in the story that feared a circle drawn around it by a pencil—mistaking it for a real wall. But once the ant identified the problem correctly, it realized the barrier was imaginary and simply walked out.
Books like these help children understand that not every challenge is permanent. With new thinking, they can reframe and escape limiting beliefs.
Social Problem-Solving: Siblings and Friends
What if the challenge isn’t a toy but a conflict with siblings or classmates? Problem-solving grows through social interaction too.
Take “The Lantern Choice”, where siblings Malak and Karim disagree: he wants one big lantern, she wants many small ones. With their mother’s positive guidance, they discuss pros and cons, negotiate, and finally agree—learning collaboration and compromise.
Why Problem-Solving Matters for Your Child
Every puzzle, every story, every small frustration is an opportunity. By resisting the urge to always “fix” things, you give your child the space to:
- Build independence and confidence
- Strengthen critical and creative thinking
- Develop empathy and perspective-taking
- Learn resilience and persistence
Whether through play or books, problem-solving is not about perfection—it’s about process. Give your child the tools, step back, and watch as they surprise you with solutions you never imagined.
